I rate wines out of 5 corks. Never mind the precision of the Robert Parker 100-point system (which is really out of 50, and in practice out of 70 or so…). Here is a general explanation of my thoughts as related to the number of corks I give a wine, beer, or spirit.

Zero corks: (nocorknocorknocorknocorknocork) This is poison. Never ever ever drink it, ever.

One cork (corknocorknocorknocorknocork): Blech. I would drink it if it were free, but under no other circumstances. Serious flaws or problems (e.g., way out of {balance}).

Two corks (corkcorknocorknocorknocork): Not terrible, but may or may not buy again. It has potential, but has some noticeable flaw or weird off-flavor.

Three corks (corkcorkcorknocorknocork): Pretty darn good. Would probably buy again, good as an everyday wine. Not incredibly complex, but a good quaffer.

Four corks (corkcorkcorkcorknocork): Outstanding. Great balance, awesome aromas/flavors, pretty complex. Probably a rare rating indeed.

Five corks (corkcorkcorkcorkcork): Orgasmic. Extremely rare. Decadent, complex. A life-altering experience.

Published on 9 March 2009 at 5:49 pm  Comments (3)  

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Please post more 5-cork wines.

    • I’ll let you know when i find one. I am thinking of adding a secret “5 gold corks” rating a la rock band when you destroy a song on expert.

  2. […] Rating: 3 out of 5 corks […]

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